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How to Write a Tribute
The following is a tribute I wrote for a special friend who was also a fantastic writer. A eulogy doesn’t have to be delivered in front of a group. It can also be published. In some instances, as others learn how to write a tribute, they might add dialogue to compliment writing a eulogy or tribute, simply because it makes a good point they want to relate. No hard and fast rule applies when learning how to write a tribute. One good rule to remember when learning to write a tribute or writing a eulogy is to stick to what you know of the departed. No one person can write a eulogy covering the entire life of that person. Relatives are the exception and even they will try to limit their time on the podium. Especially if you are not a relative, stick to how that person affected your life. Better still, choose one instance where that person really affected you in a positive way. Learn how to write a tribute around that instance and try to show how it affected you through your life. A few good books are available to teach how to write a tribute or writing a eulogy. However, it's my purpose here to offer an example to spark your creativity. How to write a tribute can be very easy if you will also make a list of points that you know about the person of whom you write. In time, I will post an article or two in the Articles section giving more specific details. (I have purposely broken down some of my longer paragraphs for ease in reading here on site. But remember, it's not the form but the content you want to consider.)
Unfinished Manuscripts: A Tribute
As with most workshops, the reader then provides a written review or critique. Richard did more than that. His written on-line critique was direct and informative. He proceeded to point out a theme in the piece, which I had no idea I'd written. After he called attention to it, I clearly understood. When I gratefully thanked him, he said he had more comments not necessarily apropos to publicizing in the workshop, and if interested, he would like to send them in email. I wasn't sure to what he alluded, but having been the recipient of one truly enlightening critique by him, I told him to fire away. Most of what Richard had to say included how he was able to perceive my personality in my writing style and how I could tie personal characteristics into the themes to deepen my plots. The reason he didn't want to post this information as additional to his critique on the Internet is because he was able to intuit very personal aspects of my personality that he felt others didn't need to know. After reading his further comments, I was thankful he had the sensibility to approach me privately, because everything he wrote was right. He went on to read all the stories I had posted. While our emails flew back and forth, it was proper, though not expected, for me to reciprocate. I read the first story he posted and found it heart-wrenching. Here was a writer with so much potential, right from the first completed story he'd ever written. No wonder he saw through my writing. I felt he was far ahead of me in short-story writing, I wasn't sure how to critique him. One point I wanted to make was that he needed to dig deeper into his own emotions, or do a little bit of research to substantiate his plot; to make it seem he lived it. A few choice details in any story and the reader will know that the author knows what he or she is talking about. I wrote my review, one that was direct and offered no frills, although it wasn't without heart or humor. Having found my review posted, he wrote back and asked me outright to help him establish his writing. He asked me, a writer far from having perfected my craft. Already retired from one successful career as a physician and surgeon, he wanted me to help him get established in another. He didn't mean it as reciprocal flattery. He brought me face to face with the potential he saw in my writing that I had not yet identified. He thought enough of my critique and writing style, and of me as a person, because he read me like a book through my stories. He trusted me. Both of us posted other stories in the workshop and continued to critique other writers for a time, but we largely withdrew from the workshop. We critiqued one another privately and learned how to get our messages into our stories. Not that our stories were meant as messages; but all stories have a deeper meaning, and that's what we strove to establish in the writing. Our reviews of each other exposed flaws or faults. Through each other, we came to accept the harshness and truths of being critiqued. What helped soften the bite, at times, was Richard's enduring wry wit. Too, we critiqued each other with awareness toward being careful not to be teaching one another in a vacuum. Soon, I noticed Richard's writing becoming so polished that I could no longer help him. He was getting stories published. He wanted to know more, to study writing, and went on to take courses. He diligently studied and learned and perfected his craft. When he felt comfortable with his personal style, he went back and re-wrote all the stories he had previously written. Over time, virtually everything he wrote was published at least once. The list of magazines where his stories, poetry and byline appears total more than fifty and many of those wanted more and reprinted stories first published in other publications. I had stopped critiquing Richard long before that time, though he still read nearly everything I wrote. He had found his niche. I found mine, turning my stories into novels, all of which Richard read. A thrill for me was when we inadvertently began to write a fantasy novel together. Too, he and I also planned to put his mind-bending short stories into book form, although I suspected he wanted to complete this project with his wife. She is a gifted artist and could create a magnificent book jacket and pepper the pages with her sketches and watercolors inspired by his stories. During the five years of our collaboration, Richard and I came to know each other and about our significant others and exchanged photos, but only through the mails. We live in extreme opposite ends of the country 5,500 miles apart and hadn't had a chance to meet in person. Then one day Richard sent an email saying he wasn't feeling well. He was going to take some time off from writing till he learned what was wrong and got better. I knew he wouldn't take time off from writing. What he was really saying was that he had less energy and needed to use it sparingly. About a week later, he wrote that he had liver cancer and the prognosis was bleak. From that time on, our emails were personal, only to keep me posted on his progress health-wise and occasionally to talk about writing or forward bits of writing information or links on the Internet. Through it all, his sense of humor wouldn't allow him to admit how ill he was. He continued to write and get published, until, finally, his energy was drained from medical treatments. He stopped mentioning having produced any new stories, but still shopped the others that hadn't yet found acceptance. Eventually, they all found a home on a printed page somewhere. Some of Richard's stories were nominated for various awards, several for the very prestigious Pushcart Prize. All this while he was gravely ill and growing weaker. One day, he wrote to say he was feeling much better. He wished me luck for my upcoming book signing. Three hours later, he was gone. Richard's life, and ability to create amazing stories that made people think, whose potential seemed limitless, was cut short. The degree of success he sought and so richly deserved would not be obtained. Part of me regrets not having rushed to finish our co-written novel and regrets not having been more diligent in putting together his book of short stories. The other part of me says everything has its own time and cycle and we mortals control none of it. I seek consolation in that thought. I am consoled, also, in having shared interests and heart with Richard. As for his potential being cut short, now I think not. If that was all the time he had been allotted, then he succeeded in every sense of the word by being the best at something he chose to do. Every one of his stories carried messages of the deeper aspects of life for readers to perceive. What was important to him, he was able to convey through his writings, be they serious or humorous or anything in between. He was a total success, and I am a better person and a better writer, for having been invited into the writing nook in his expansive mind.
The Return, nominated for the First Annual James B. Baker Award for Genre Fiction 2002 in the Best Short Story Category. Ten Minute Scrub, published in 96 Inc., 2002. Pushcart nomination. Curves, published in Happy, 2003 - The story he wrote about his illness. Posthumous Pushcart nomination. My Father's Skull, published in Slipstream, 2003 - Posthumous Pushcart nomination. Dragon Grisfeu's Fire received a posthumous nomination for the James B. Baker Award for Poetry 2003. Hell's Kitchen, published in 96 Inc., 2003. Posthumous Pushcart nomination.
I learned how to write a tribute and wrote this one to have it published. That is another way you can honor those you love. If you learn how to write a tribute or eulogy for publication, it would be apropos to publish it in a magazine related to the life of the departed. Otherwise, it serves no purpose and probably wouldn’t be accepted by just any publication anyway.
In addition to being a retired physician and surgeon or some renown, and a writer, R.D. was also a lifetime marksman with quite a history in the field. His wife’s written eulogy was published in a magazine produced by the gun club to which her husband belonged. That made it all the more personal and relevant. I like to think that writing a eulogy for publication promotes the remembrance of the departed. At least a little while longer. I wrote my tribute to contribute to a cyberspace memorial. The drawing above is by Carrie Robbins, who is a gifted artist and Richard's wife.
Quite a few books are available on how to write a tribute or how to write a eulogy. Peruse them at your bookstore or the library to learn which is your best teacher for how to write a tribute. If you write something this long and have the opportunity, speaking ability, and time to deliver it at a memorial service, then do so. In writing a eulogy, you will come to know it word for word. Try to memorize your speech, or have excellent note cards prepared. Depending on the group you may address, to read something this lengthy, sadly, carries a hint of not caring enough to thoroughly prepare. Memorizing the whole piece seems to make it much more personal. When learning how to write a tribute or eulogy, also try to memorize it as you work through it to the finish.
When learning how to write a tribute, I always encourage people to write what they feel, what they remember. Write in your own style; editing comes later. Try it on your own and trust yourself. You will instill your own order to what you write. I tried referring to several books but found all books on how to write a tribute or eulogy presented cookie-cutter ideas and templates. I prefer originality. As you can see from my presentation here, almost anything goes. It's largely dependent upon whether you speak your tribute or get it published.
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