How to Write a Eulogy

The idea of how to write a eulogy usually hits us at the wrong time; when a loved one has passed away. Then we may be rushed into writing and be unable to put our thoughts together.

This version of how to write eulogy and sampling of what to say is brief. It was written for a large family whom I knew, and who had quite a few members who wished to speak.

I did not know the departed very long, but during the time I was around her we bonded. Not having known her very long, I couldn’t talk about her life. I was not part of her family. Her family members could speak of her personal attributes. Still, I had to think about how to write a eulogy to say something personal in her behalf.

What I decided was to speak of something I saw in her, what she imparted during her lifetime to those she left behind.

With this in mind, how to write a eulogy was not a difficult task at all.

As you read through this eulogy, understand that you want to tell yourself where to pause when reciting the words. Just in case someone else ends up reading your eulogy, they will know when to pause.

At the end are instructions on how to personalize this when you are writing a eulogy.

One of the greatest experiences in all of life is having loving parents. There aren’t too many other things more devastating than losing one or both. But though the body passes, the spirit of loved ones lives on.

(Pause)

During the years, our loved ones planted seeds in us, little parts of themselves, known as love, encouragement, patience, compassion and charity, among many, many others.

(Pause)

If you want to once again, be in touch with a loved one who has passed away, all you need do is go on with your life. Live your life to the fullest. Be all that you can be. Express all that you learned from your departed loved one.

(Pause)

Feel those little seeds planted in your heart growing and blooming, as you live life the way they taught. All those seeds, characteristics of parents or relatives, grow and become part of us. In that way, the loved one who passes away lives on, within us.

(Pause)

So gather close, all who are left. Share your memories, your feelings. Feel your loved one there inside your strength. All that you do is a reflection of the departed.

(Pause)

Share the process with your children and your grandchildren. Tell them about living and dying, and living on, so that in their future time of mourning, they may feel less confused, less helpless.

(Pause)

Then, as the mourning phase passes, eagerly get on with your lives, expressing the gifts you received, watching those special seeds grow and bloom. Be all that your loved one had hoped you’d be. Let your conscience be your guide. Be all that you can be. That’s the way your loved one would want life to be for you.

Anderie Poetry Press published this eulogy in their Songs of Glory anthology, 1994.

In learning how to write a eulogy, the above may be copied and freely used by anyone who needs help writing a eulogy. I suggest you personalize it by adding the name of the departed in a few of the sentences. Change a few places where you can insert the person’s name to make it personal.

For example, when learning how to write a eulogy, instead of using…

If you want to, once again, be in touch with a loved one who has passed away, all you need do is go on with your life.

Use this…

If you want to, once again, be in touch with ___(name the person by first name)___, all you need do is go on with your life.

Instead of this…

Be all that your loved one had hoped you’d be.

Use this…

Be all that _____(person’s name)_____ had hoped you’d be.

When writing a eulogy you may or may not want to use the person’s full name in every instance. Practice reading out loud to see how your composition sounds.

When addressing a group, speak in a warm, loving tone. Use pauses. Losing a loved one may numb mourners. They may move and think slowly. Use short pauses to give them time to absorb your words.

Depending on how close you were to the departed, try not to become overly emotional, at least not till the end of your talk. You took time to learn how to write a eulogy. Then deliver what you wish to say. If you feel it in your heart, it may be the only chance you have to offer healing to the mourners as a group.